I am SOOOOOO Not Ready!

I'm not ready. I'm NOT ready. I'm NOT READY. I'M NOT READY. I'M NOT READY!

That's what I've been thinking ever since I woke up this morning. I'm not ready.

I sat on the couch and checked my email and that little voice whispered, "You're not ready."

I lugged all of my gear to the car and headed for the pool and thought: I'm not ready.

Realizing that my congestion hadn't subsided as much as I had hoped, I could barely swim two laps without gasping for air. How can I be ready?

When my friend Norma-May slipped into the lane next to me, I really wanted to impress her with my swimming skills. I hardly think that my near-puking experience at the far end of the pool knocked her socks off. Ready? Me? Yeah, right!

Mercifully, Sherry told us to get dressed and meet her in the lobby so that we could talk about this final stretch. We talked about nutrition and hydration and what to expect on race day. After the others headed off to work, Sherry asked if I could stay a bit longer. I thought, "See, even Sherry knows I'm not ready but she's kind enough not to embarrass me in front of everyone else. After everyone was gone, I figured I'd go first to make the conversation less painful.

Let me just say (again) that Sherry is a saint and I'm a better person for knowing her. In a nutshell she told me that she has no doubt that I can finish the Memphis in May triathlon. The rest is between us girls. ;-)

Be well!

I'm Not Spoiled

I saw a license plate holder recently that read, "I'm not spoiled, my husband just loves me!"
I LOVED it! That is SOOO me! Geoffrey teases me endlessly about all of my gadgets and Frank and Greg call Andreas "Bobby Knight" because he is always getting on me when he doesn't think I'm training hard enough. However, HE is the one who encourages me to get all of the gadgets. I guess he realizes that I need incentives and he's always happy to give them to me.
I have to say that this weekend, after seeing that license plate holder, I did a quick assessment. I DO have it pretty good. On Saturday, I was able to practice swimming in my wetsuit in my backyard pool. It stunk having to turn constantly but I ordered a little contraption that will allow me to harness myself and swim in place. Anyway, after the swim, I hopped out of the pool and jumped on my bike which I had set up on my trainer overlooking the lake. I got to pedal for an hour while watching my kids fish and the geese tend to their baby goslings on the lake. Then, once my thighs were burning from the bike ride, I jumped into the hot tub which Andreas had already warmed up for me.
So, am I spoiled? Yes! Do we (Andreas and I) work hard for the wonderful life we get to enjoy? Absolutely! Are we thankful and appreciative for all of this? You bet! Life is so short. Not everyone is as blessed as we are. Just think about the folks who will benefit from the money I have raised. They are battling life-threatening illnesses! That makes shin splints and side-stitches sound pretty wimpy! So, when I have these reflective moments where I count my many blessings, I commit to this cause all over again. OK, I may be spoiled, but my husband DOES love me and I'm a better person for it. There is so much joy in this house, I feel I have no choice but to try to bring a little joy to others however I can.

Go TEAM!

Race Results

So, let's recap:

1. Goal #1: Perfect form. Check! I think the little Shakira-style hip wiggle helped!
2. Goal #2: No stopping/walking. Check! Sorry Sherry and Geoffrey!
3. Goal #3: Beat my Komen time of 40:17. Check! I actually finished in 37:48!

Best of all, I feel revived and recommitted. Nothing hurt afterwards or even when I woke up this morning. I guess I just have to face the ugly truth that I'm a geek who must actually *THINK* about how to run. Maybe THAT'S why my parents put me in coordination classes when I was a kid!

Go TEAM!

Goals for Today's Race

Oops! This is NOT a race. This is just a simple training run. Oops! I mean run/walk.
BUT -- if I were forced to set goals in the event that I were suddenly healthy and could compete in a race, what would they be?

1. Maintain perfect form!
2. Run the entire course without pain or fatigue causing me to walk.
3. Beat my Komen time of 40:17.

I think the first one is legitimate under any circumstances. Let's just call 2 and 3 "our little secret". ;-)

Fired Up and Ready to Go!

To borrow from a politician, I'm fired up and ready to go!

I have to admit, I wasn't all that fired up until I talked to Geoffrey this morning. You know, my idea of a good coach (or doctor or teacher or any other expert) is one who can always make you feel good about yourself and motivated about the task at hand no matter how utterly pathetic you are! So, Geoffrey rocks!

Let's talk about UTTERLY PATHETIC!

I set the alarm for 5AM but didn't wake up until 5:44AM when Joshua crawled into bed next to me and started planting kisses on my cheek to wake me up. I'll take that over an alarm clock ANY DAY!

I finally made it to the YMCA around 6:15 and the group was already suited up and in the pool. I slithered into my rubber glove (wet suit) and made my way through the water. The moment my head went under water it felt like it had been replaced with a 100 lb. boulder. Did I mention that I've had the flu (or at least a REALLY BAD cold) for the last week? What was worse was that at the end of each lap I had to wipe all of the disgusting snot off of my face and fling it onto the pool deck! TMI (Too Much Information)? Sorry!

Anyway, you get the picture. I'm still sick but I'm sucking it up and getting my workouts in. That's what REAL ahtletes do, right?

Well, Geoffrey was kind enough to put together a plan for me to get me back on track. The plan (thankfully) includes two runs with Geoffrey next week. Hopefully, that will be just the ticket to get me race ready.

Oh! Remember that whole 'pathetic' discussion of a few minutes ago? Here's another example to add to the list. I went with Andreas to pick up his race packet for a 10K that he is going to do. I was jealous over how well-stocked the goody bag was and signed up to do the 5K. Can you say, "Will race for free crap"?

I emailed Geoffrey and Sherry to tell them about the slightly accelerated workout plan. They made me promise to only do a walk/run and not go all out. Clearly, they are not familiar with me and my running style. I don't think I would EVER categorize it as "all out"!

Well, I hope the goodies are worth the inevitable knee pain I'll be feeling after this race. Stay tuned, I'll let you know how it all works out!

New Attitude!

• I'm feelin' good from my head to my shoes
• Know where I'm goin' and I know what to
  do
• I tidied up my point of view
• I got a new attitude!

OK. I'm lying, but a little Patti LaBelle in the morning never hurt anybody. I have THE MOST WONDERFUL MOTHER IN THE WORLD and her southern upbringing translated into several 'isms' that I've carried with me throughout my life. I've been reciting a few of those constantly since I haven't been feeling well and thought I'd share:

• Never give anyone the power to affect your mood!
• Always be sure that you can look yourself in the mirror and be happy with (and even proud of) the person who looks back at you!
• All you need is a PLAN!
• When bad things happen, take some time for yourself to work through your issues and then MOVE ON!

So, thanks to Mom, I'm moving on!! Memphis in May, HERE I COME!! Hit it Patti!

• It took it so high, so low
• So low, there was nowhere to go
• Like a dream
• Somehow the wires uncrossed, the tables were turned
• Never knew I had such a lesson to learn
• I'm feelin' good from my head to my shoes
• Know where I'm goin' and I know what to do
• I tidied up my point of view
• I got a new attitude
• I'm in control, my worries are few
• 'Cause I've got love like I never knew
• Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
• I got a new attitude

Slacker!

The alarm greeted me at 5AM this morning as usual, but so did a nasty sore throat, aches and pains in all of my joints and a mile-long 'to-do' list. Soon after, I realized that I was getting a visit from my 'Aunt Flo' to boot! Great!! After a minute or two of careful consideration, I rolled back over and slept for another 30 minutes. Promptly at 5:30, my eldest, Peter, crawled in to bed next to me to form our daily 'Rauterkus Sandwich' with Peter and 'Papi' on the outside and Mommy squished in the middle. After about 15 minutes or so of snores and kicks and elbows from both sides I started fantasizing about how much more relaxing the pool would be at that point. Oh well, by then it was too late.

Of course, now the guilt sets in. Hmmm. Didn't work out yesterday, slept in today, have to work late tonight and have a crazy schedule tomorrow. Not looking good AT ALL!

OK, I can figure this out -- all I need is a PLAN!

• Today -- since I have to work until 10PM, I think this day is toast
• Friday -- if we cancel the TNT party at our house tomorrow, I can go to Peter's baseball game and run laps through the park for 45 minutes while he plays
• Saturday -- Perhaps I can make it to that 11AM Pilates class right after my work commitment and then swim a few laps.
• Sunday -- I REALLY need to get a bike ride in -- maybe I'll whine to Geoffrey to ride with me . . .

See, now that I have a plan, I don't feel so bad. Next, I'll have to come up with a plan for what I'm going to tell Sherry and Dr. Sophia about that physical therapy! Did I mention that my knees are KILLING ME?!

I'm off! Busy day today -- but I've got a plan so I'm not overwhelmed. What are YOUR plans for the day?

Injury? What Injury?

So Sherry told me not to race this weekend and sent me to a sports medicine doctor friend of hers for a second opinion. I went yesterday and left feeling quite pathetic. Iliotibial Band Syndrome, bursitis and tendonitis. She prescribed physical therapy 1-2 times per week for 4-6 weeks, icing the inflamed areas several times a day, anti-inflammatory medication for the pain, wearing only sneakers until the issue is resolved and, of course, no racing this weekend.

Hmmmm. Let's see. Is anything broken? No. Is there any blood or other oozing? No. Am I in danger of losing a limb or vital organ? No. Well, while the "Sophia Plan" is very detailed, responsible and addresses all of the issues that I have, it really doesn't fit my lifestyle. Let's see if we can 'massage' this just a bit in light of the fact that according to my own checklist I am in no imminent danger.

• PT 1-2 x per week? 1-2 times before I see Dr. Sophia again and Pilates once a week sounds more doable.
• Ice? Well, how about if I hold my Graeter's ice cream container against my knee as I polish off a quart of butter pecan this week?
• Anti-inflammatory meds? Ehh! That's for wimps!! Besides, if I've said it once, I've said it one thousand times -- how am I going to know how bad it hurts if I take pain killers?!
• Sneakers? Yeah, right! Sorry Dr. Sophia but I draw the line at fashion!

Yikes! I feel sorry for any doctor who has to deal with me. I'm not exactly a model patient. I can't help it. Bursitis?! Isn't that for, umm, OLD PEOPLE?! My grandmother talks about how she spends her days hanging out with Burt and Arthur ('Burt Sitis' and 'Arthur Itis' -- get it?). I'm too young to hang with Burt and Arthur I tell you! I know, I know, just call me Cleopatra (queen of 'De Nial'). I'm 39 but behaving like I'm 29.

Well, I'll say this one thing. All that really matters is that even though I'm making friends with Burt, my hair has turned 'salt and pepper', I have a little more 'junk in my trunk' than I used to and I'm the slowest triathlete on the planet, there is ONE PERSON who doesn't care about any of those things and likes me JUST AS I AM! You do, don't you honey?

Have a great day and enjoy life -- JUST AS YOU ARE!

Still Cold!

When I heard that the temperature was going to be in the 30s this morning, that should have been a sign. When I realized that I haven't gotten my wetsuit back yet, that should have been a sign. When Sherry called me just before I got to the pool to tell me NOT to swim, THAT should have been a sign. When NO ONE was in the pool when I got there, that CERTAINLY should have been a sign. But noooooooooooo, little Miss Bonehead, just had to swim today.

I have been out of the pool now for over an hour and I am STILL COLD! Did I mention that the pool is outside and the winter 'bubble' was removed last week? My plan was to swim 51 laps today. I barely got in 25. In fact, at one point I swam with my eyes closed thinking that I could lull myself into some sort of zen-like state and overcome the temperature. Well, the trouble with that is it's kind of hard to know when you've reached the end of the pool with your eyes closed! No worries. I opened my eyes before I broke my nose or caused any other injuries.

No worries! My colleague Eric says that all the time. I've found that he usually only says it when he's REALLY worried, but saying it (or typing it) out loud seems to have a calming effect. It's as if you say, yes, I'm freezing my rear end off and wishing I were anywhere but here, but what good is it to focus on THAT right now?! It's as if saying, there is ALWAYS SOMETHING to worry about, but that doesn't mean that worrying is the best use of your time. Let's focus on the positive!

No worries guys! No worries!! Does anybody know where I can get some hot chocolate?

Dead Last!

OK. I didn't expect to place in my age group or anything but dead last?! Out of 201 athletes, I was the worst? The slowest? The (placing fingers on my forehead in the shape of an 'L') big LOSER?! Well, Sherry and Andreas worked hard to give me a different outlook on this whole LOSING thing. Sherry said the only losers are the ones who didn't compete or didn't finish. Andreas commented on how I soldiered on despite a pronounced limp due to an aching knee. They are right, but the fact remains -- I came in last.



However, let's look back at my goals for this race:

1) Finish the race. Check!
2) Don't fall, vomit or otherwise embarrass myself. Check, check and check!

Hmmm . . . not bad. I guess I should have added a third goal -- avoid injury. In fact, had I been thinking about that beforehand, I wouldn't be about to limp back downstairs for the kids' 'icebear' to try to soothe my aching knee.

OK, so I DID finish last. So what?! Maybe that makes me a 'good guy'. Aren't they supposed to finish last? Maybe that means I'm the best. Aren't you always supposed to save the best for last? Hey, Andreas doesn't call me the 'queen of rationalization for nothing'!

All in all, it was a good day. I did what I set out to do and -- truth be told -- I did it four minutes faster than what I had guesstimated. Best of all, I had the Rauterkus boys cheering me on at the finish line. How cool is that?! So, it turns out that I'm a winner after all!

Keep chasing those goals guys! I know I will!!

Pre-Race Jitters

So, tomorrow is my first race of the season -- if you don't count the indoor race I did back in February. We went out this afternoon to pick up my race packet and drive the course. What in the world am I thinking?! There is a hill on the bike course that seems to go on forever.

I whined to Geoffrey about it today -- even when he told me no whining. He says to just put my bike in "Granny gear" and take my time going up. Sherry implied that there is no shame in walking my bike up the hill.

Ugh! I think the butterflies in my stomach have butterflies in THEIR stomachs! We went out to dinner after picking up the packet and we sat across from a family that is competing tomorrow. They've been coming here from Nashville for 12 years to compete in this race. Apparently the daughter won the women's overall a couple of years ago. I thought she was a cute kid until I heard that. Of course, I was then forced to hate her immensely. OK, just kidding.

Clearly I have no designs on winning or even placing in this race. In fact, if I had to set goals, I'd say 1) Finish the race and 2) Finish the bike course without falling, vomiting or committing some other equally embarrassing act. How's that for setting the bar low?!

Gosh, just 12 hours from now my knees will be knocking (even more than they are now) and I'll be watching the clock as the elite racers head out to get started. I know, I know, why so nervous if I claim not to care about winning or placing? Well, here's the thing. Several years ago, my Dad and I were at a big football game in which "his team" was playing. I vividly remember waiting for the hotel elevator with him before heading out to the big game. You could look at his face and tell that he was just as anxious as the guys on their way out to the football field when he was about to take a nice cushy seat in a skybox. Just before the elevator came, he turned and looked at me. He said, "You know, I really hate to lose. Shouldn't you always try to be the best?" At that moment, I suddenly realized where my competitive nature came from. Dad was a boxer when he was younger but that was before my time. So it never struck me until then that there is competition in everything and for some of us, it is precisely that spirit that drives us.

So, tomorrow when I'm out there pedalling my buns off I'll be thinking of Dad. No, I probably won't win, but yes Dad, I will absolutely try my best. Note to self: call Dad after the race and tell him again how much I love him.

OK Geoffrey, You're Right!

Yes, Geoffrey, you are right. Training with the group IS better than training on my own. Before you arrived at the pool on Tuesday I was taking a leisurely swim spending more time fretting about all of the things I had to do that day than stroke mechanics. Then, once you barked, "OK, give me 10 50s!" I hauled it down the lane and not only did I work out my frustrations, but I swam faster than I thought I could.

Yes, Geoffrey, you are right. It IS important to push yourself sometimes. Swimming in the same lane with you this morning made me try a little harder -- praying that you wouldn't lap me! In the three months or so that I've been training, I've never done a 50 in less than 1:15. Well, today both you and Sherry confirmed that I could do it in exactly one minute! Me!! The one who just learned to swim! Wow! Cool!!

Yes, Geoffrey, you are right. I DO whine! It SUCKS to get up at 5AM when I know I won't get home until 10PM after work. It SUCKS to know that I won't see my kids all day. It SUCKS to still have butt cramps on Thursday from a bike ride on Sunday. It SUCKS to have to keep reminding myself to feel the pavement with my big toes so that my knees don't ache before I've even run a mile. It SUCKS to have to deal with "hair issues" in order to swim whenever I want. It SUCKS to train 6-7 days a week for months and still not have the body of a supermodel.

BUT

Yes, Geoffrey, you are right. It is all worth it. Thanks for being right. Thanks for being a great coach -- and a pretty cool guy to boot!

See you at the race on Sunday! I'll be the one whining. ;-)

I Must REALLY HATE to Run!

Maybe I'm hitting a wall (again). Maybe I'm not used to warm weather in early April. Maybe I'm too pre-occupied with work commitments. Maybe I'm puzzled by my duties as baseball 'Team Mom'. Maybe I just REALLY hate to run. Who knows? All I know is that I've been a HUGE slacker over the last two weeks and I went out for a run this morning that turned into a stroll.

What to do? How do you get motivated when sipping sweet tea on the 'veranda' sounds much more tantalizing than any sweaty workout? I did ride my bike yesterday with Geoffrey and his training partner and a fellow TNT'er. However, I have to admit that I whined and complained the entire time. As a matter of fact, I was even starting to get on my own nerves! Thankfully, the group just ignored me and pedaled on.

Well, here is where the audience participation part of the program comes in. Periodically, people tell me that they read my blog. Well, if you are one of those 'lurkers', weigh in on this issue and give me a suggestion. How do you get motivated when there are a million other things that you'd RATHER do other than the stuff that you really NEED to do?

Please help!